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Tuesday, August 03, 2004


I was recently led to The Center for an Informed America, authored and maintained by best-selling extremely popular English-proficient writer Dave McGowan.

The site has many opinion pieces; conspiratorial deviousnessness everywhere. Some real gems.

The first thing you see on his home page:






Congratulations, Dave. You've demonstrated that you posses such superior pattern-recognition skills that you can draw a parallel between three images of men in uniform.

The similarities there are obvious now that those two images have been directly compared for me. How could I have missed it before? No humans could line up that straight without the help of Satan. And there's no need for such riot gear in the LAPD unless they have Naziesque world-domination plans.


Perhaps what he's saying is that people standing line abreast have evil intentions:


collegiate volleyball players = Nazis



Or people wearing helmets?


West Virginia spelunkers = Nazis



No, it's people both wearing helmets and standing in a line.


Miami high school football players = Nazis




We should all of us consider ourselves fortunate, I think, that Dave McGowan is fighting on the side of truth and liberty. After all, imagine if someone with those supreme powers of image-association were to throw their hat in on the side of evil! Those of us who love freedom could never stand against such a torrent of juxtaposed pictures!


I was inspired by the insight.

These two images were chillingly similar:






I couldn't get over the fact that both Hitler and Bush are congratulating their adoring little puppy's best efforts, posed in the same fashion with flags behind them. No coincidence. Bush even seems to know that we're on to him.


Keeping a political mindset, a recent photo of John Kerry at the Democratic National Convention sent me instantly to mostly-funny Steve Oedekerk:







The angle of the photograph and similar facial expressions can only mean there's a connection there. Allies in the fight against liberty? Brain-programmed by the same agency? Could Steve O. be an earlier version of Kerry? You decide.



Finally, uber-conservative Michael Savage:




There's definitely shared DNA there.



I don't know what Cringer has to do with politics, but damned if I'm not gonna find out! Maybe it's not Cringer, it's Battle-Cat...


I think I've made great headway with my image-association technique.


What I ridicule isn't Davey-Dave's dissent against the Government. We certainly need it; this country is built on the concept that dissent is necessary for a healthy society.

What I ridicule is his usage of the cheapest, most effortless kidney-shots. That he could hope anyone would be convinced to alter their own beliefs based on side-by-side photos of the LAPD and the SS ("Good God! They're both wearing black! I'm sold!") and secret oh-who-could-it-be stories ("man... this all sounds tragically familiar... but how?") is really an insult to everybody who reads his writing. Or the idea that these juxtaposed images somehow act as proof of anything.

This aside from the "Any Questions?" line of ads; you remember, the ones that stopped holding your attention instantly in the 80s. "Oh, I get it, cause I shouldn't have any questions, cause this should answer them all! I feel as though I've accomplished something!"

The Davester doesn't try to convince anybody by using real evidence or specific arguments. No, Daveykins intentionally leaves specifics out of his articles. Vast shantytowns of undescriptive phrases such as "these men", "somewhere in America" and "it can be safely concluded" have struck up permanent residence in his writing.


Reading this website made my eyes bleed.


I may not be ready to accept the enlightened truth, but I have to admit, I envy his job. He makes a living playing a giant game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. All he has to do is pick a few prominent officials, objects, programs or other world events and find any three- to six-stage connection between them and [insert_devious_individual]. The more lengthy and convoluted the connection, the more it proves how good they are at covering their tracks.


You can make anybody look like anybody else if you try hard enough. Keep digging, Davey-pooh; you've been around your writing for so long you no longer whiff the stench.

Allow me to suggest an update for your opening motto: "No ads, no banners, no bullshit, no traffic".

posted by Scotty 2-shots at 2:20 AM